motivation

well ... it's been awhile since I've posted. I'd like to thank at the forefront an old university friend Jenn who's been following my blog and of course my lovely friend Laura who both took the time in the last few months to remind me it's been awhile since I updated. These in itself was great support.

Moral of the story- these slight hints motivated me to update.

I think the hesitation in updating is I have nothing to report. I'm 3 pounds heavier than at the beginning of May and am struggling with motivation. However as Jenn told me when we talked these types of posts are also important. It makes people realize that this is real life and this is reality. There will be road blocks and it's how we handle these road blocks that matter the most.

I have still been maintaining exercise .. but again with school being out I'm not in routine .. and with bridal showers and summer parties I'm not eating like I had been. I'm not going to sit here and make excuses .. because the reality is this is life. The BENEFIT of everything is that in 3 months because of exercising occasionally and having a much better understanding of how healthy and unhealthy foods really are I've basically maintained my weight loss.

However .. that's not good enough!!! because the weeks of 2 parties of cheat days in one weekend and only one session with my trainer all week I feel terrible. I've exercised once .. maybe gone on a nightly walk .b.ut the food intake and lack of consistent high impact exercise just makes me feel blah!! It's true what they say that it's 80% food because if I eat poorly my body feels like S** and it's a heck of a lot easier to gain weight than lose it.

I got back into spinning yesterday and it felt incredible! I think this was a wake-up call to my body that I have to get back on track. I have to get back to tracking food and I have to get back to 4-5 times a week of exercise. I never felt better than in the last year when exercise was regular and I actually took into consideration what I put into my mouth. The best part is that I know I can get back to that consistency because I've been there and yesterday morning after spinning was a wake-up call to how my body remembers feeling - amazing energy, more happiness, less stress and better sleeps.

When I reflect on the past few months I'm reminded on how easy it is to gain the weight back .. how easy it is to give up and how much harder it is to lose weight and stay on track. Part of me resents the fact I'm taking this journey basically alone because I've discovered..(no offence to anybody) that the only person you can rely on to not tempt you with dessert, not interupt your exercise routine and support you 110% is yourself. You are in control of your own destiny not your partner, not your trainer, not your parents, not your friends. YOU have the power to make a change and only you.

I'm left with this quote that I recently found on facebook "accept nobody's defintion of your life; define yourself".

Don't let anybody bring you down or discourage you. YOU have the power to make a change and define yourself. If you want to define yourself as somebody who is unhappy with the way they look and has a serious food addiction (been there!!) that's exactly who you will be. Now is the time to take control and make a change and define yourself as a healthy and active human being.

I want my definition of myself and my life to be an active one. I want people to hear Emily Moxey and  think of me as somebody who is active and health conscious. I think I'm getting to that definition slowly and maybe that day will come. In the meantime I'm going to work my ass off to make that definition a reality!!
I want my kids to think that going to the gym regularly and going on nightly walks and playing basebally weekly is just how life is ... it's just part of the every day.

In the meantime of defining myself and the way I want my life to be.. please continue to join me on this journey ...


recap -
Sun. July 29th weight - 207 pounds.
... goal for this week - 2 pounds....stay tuned.