Will Power and addictions

Okay it was our weekly baseball dinners ... spinach salad and pizza .. I can do this. No dessert temptations too which we sometimes have.

Alas I got my 2 pieces and a big helping of salad. The pieces were small from Zarky's - Romo pizza I think is the name of it. So definitely not as greasy or nasty as the pizza, pizza versions .. but that being said it tasted even better.
I had 900 calories left to stay in my zone ... so no problem - only wanted to use about 500 on dinner ... WELL .... after the 2 pieces I was really good - I felt full and tried to not think about the endless amount of food that was left. I had been really on track all day, I wasn't going to mess it up was I?

Alas - my will power failed me and a second serving turned into a third serving and a fourth serving .. in the end I think I had about 6 pieces of pizza. OOOH the frustration at myself ... and now I feel disgusting. ...but oooh the realization. Food is totally an addition - there's no doubt in my mind. The "off" button on me just sometimes doesn't work and I get carried away ,.. that's why i'm where I am.

Anyways I just had to vent ... because I know I screwed up and hopefully tomorrow is a new day ... and it's about picking yourself back up when you get knocked down.

A 5 day vacation at the cottage is coming up. Trying to decide and plan on how I'm going to ensure I remain on track. I find one slip up sends me into a spiral. I hope to also try and ensure I do some work-outs while I'm there too - that will help!

Stay tuned ...

Clean Eating Recipes to try

Well starting the day with a new frame of mind motivated me to get cooking some healthy, clean meals. Clean eating magazine is incredible for recipes which is where I got some of these. I recommend all 3 of these as in my mind they were all delicious. It's great how when you work on it healthy food really can taste good.

Clean Eating Magazine - June edition
Chicken Gumbo with brown rice & Okra

Serves: 4

Hands-on time: 25 minutes

Cook 1/4 cup of brown rice according to package directions. In a large saucepan, heat 2 tsp olive oil on medium-high. Add 1/2 cup chopped yellow onion, and 2 cloves garclic, chopped, and cook, stirring occasionally, until soft, about 2 minutes. Add 1lb boneless, skinless chicken breast, cubed, and cook, stirring frequently, for 3 minutes, until golden brown.

Add 4 cups low-sodium chicken broth, 28oz boxed or jarred chopped tomatoes, 10oz frozen sliced okra, 2 dried bay leaves, 1 tsp each dried oregano and dried thyme and 1/4 tsp each sea salt and fresh ground black pepper.

Bring to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, for 5 minutes. Add 2 cups chopped kale, brown rice and 1/2 cup frozen corn and cook uncovered, stirring occasionally, for 1 to 2 minutes, until heated through. Discard bay leaves and serve.

Nutrients per serving (2 cups) - I felt full after 1 cup though

Calories - 330, total fat - 6g, sat fat- 1g, monosaturated fat - 3g, polyunsaturated fat - 1g, carbs- 34 g, fiber-10g, sugars- 10g, protein- 37g, sodium-330mg, cholesterol-66mg.

Baked Crispy Apple Chips

A great healthy crispy alternative to keep around the house.

You will need:Apples (any firm variety,I used royal gala that were getting kinda old looking)
Parchment paper
Baking sheet
Cinnamon powder (optional)

Method:Pre-heat oven to 200 F and position rack in the centre.
Wash the apples and slice them fine (with or without seeds). I sliced it with the seeds,hence the beautiful design in the centre.
Lay them on a parchment lined baking sheet making sure you DO NOT overlap the apple slices.
Bake them for 1 hour 15 mins or till they turn pale brown (as you see in the pic) and crisp. It will get more crisp once cooled.
Cool the baked chips completely.
Sprinkle them with cinnamon powder and store them in airtight containers.

Eat Clean Protein Smoothie Popsicles
These turned out so well and are so much better than the expensive popsicles you buy in the store and a lot better for you too.

Ingredients:
2 cups plain low-fat yogurt (I used 0% Astro)
2 scoops vanilla-flavored protein powder
2 cups frozen berries
1/4 cup agave nectar

Directions:
Place all ingredients in the bowl of a food processor or blender. Process until just combined. Pour into popsicle molds or Dixie cups with a popsicle stick centered in the mixture. Freeze.

Makes: 10 to 12 popsicles

Serving Size: 1 popsicle
Each serving provides: Calories: 77, Total fat: 0.2g, Saturated fat: 0g, Protein: 5g, Carbs: 14g, Fiber: 1g, Cholesterol: 0mg, Sodium: 40mg.

motivation

well ... it's been awhile since I've posted. I'd like to thank at the forefront an old university friend Jenn who's been following my blog and of course my lovely friend Laura who both took the time in the last few months to remind me it's been awhile since I updated. These in itself was great support.

Moral of the story- these slight hints motivated me to update.

I think the hesitation in updating is I have nothing to report. I'm 3 pounds heavier than at the beginning of May and am struggling with motivation. However as Jenn told me when we talked these types of posts are also important. It makes people realize that this is real life and this is reality. There will be road blocks and it's how we handle these road blocks that matter the most.

I have still been maintaining exercise .. but again with school being out I'm not in routine .. and with bridal showers and summer parties I'm not eating like I had been. I'm not going to sit here and make excuses .. because the reality is this is life. The BENEFIT of everything is that in 3 months because of exercising occasionally and having a much better understanding of how healthy and unhealthy foods really are I've basically maintained my weight loss.

However .. that's not good enough!!! because the weeks of 2 parties of cheat days in one weekend and only one session with my trainer all week I feel terrible. I've exercised once .. maybe gone on a nightly walk .b.ut the food intake and lack of consistent high impact exercise just makes me feel blah!! It's true what they say that it's 80% food because if I eat poorly my body feels like S** and it's a heck of a lot easier to gain weight than lose it.

I got back into spinning yesterday and it felt incredible! I think this was a wake-up call to my body that I have to get back on track. I have to get back to tracking food and I have to get back to 4-5 times a week of exercise. I never felt better than in the last year when exercise was regular and I actually took into consideration what I put into my mouth. The best part is that I know I can get back to that consistency because I've been there and yesterday morning after spinning was a wake-up call to how my body remembers feeling - amazing energy, more happiness, less stress and better sleeps.

When I reflect on the past few months I'm reminded on how easy it is to gain the weight back .. how easy it is to give up and how much harder it is to lose weight and stay on track. Part of me resents the fact I'm taking this journey basically alone because I've discovered..(no offence to anybody) that the only person you can rely on to not tempt you with dessert, not interupt your exercise routine and support you 110% is yourself. You are in control of your own destiny not your partner, not your trainer, not your parents, not your friends. YOU have the power to make a change and only you.

I'm left with this quote that I recently found on facebook "accept nobody's defintion of your life; define yourself".

Don't let anybody bring you down or discourage you. YOU have the power to make a change and define yourself. If you want to define yourself as somebody who is unhappy with the way they look and has a serious food addiction (been there!!) that's exactly who you will be. Now is the time to take control and make a change and define yourself as a healthy and active human being.

I want my definition of myself and my life to be an active one. I want people to hear Emily Moxey and  think of me as somebody who is active and health conscious. I think I'm getting to that definition slowly and maybe that day will come. In the meantime I'm going to work my ass off to make that definition a reality!!
I want my kids to think that going to the gym regularly and going on nightly walks and playing basebally weekly is just how life is ... it's just part of the every day.

In the meantime of defining myself and the way I want my life to be.. please continue to join me on this journey ...


recap -
Sun. July 29th weight - 207 pounds.
... goal for this week - 2 pounds....stay tuned.